The Burden of Becoming

by Nancy Sauer

Edited by Fred Wan

Several weeks ago, the Battle of Shiro Utaku Shojo

Yu Pan smoothly ran another Yobanjin through with her lance and just as smoothly flung his corpse off it. He had been the last of the group she was chasing, so she checked Dango with a bit of pressure from her knees and sent the horse running towards the slight rise where her unit was reassembling for the next charge.

“Yumiko!” she yelled when she was close enough, “what news?”

“We have stopped the encirclement of Xieng Chi’s forces,” Utaku Yumiko said. She had a spyglass, and was using it to read fan signals from all about the battlefield. “Also, the flow of Yobanjin towards the castle has slowed.” She put down the glass and gave Yu Pan a bright, toothy grin. “We seemed to have caused a great deal of confusion in the enemy.”

“We will cause more than confusion before the day ends,” Yu Pan said. “I” she paused for a moment. It was faint, but she was sure she had heard her name being called.

“Yu Pan! Yu Pan!”

Yu Pan twisted around until she could see who was calling her. A rider with bloodied armor and a limping horse was approaching, and Yu Pan chilled as she recognized them as members of Xieng Chi’s personal guard.

“She’s going to ruin him, running him in that state,” Yumiko said in an outraged tone.

“She’s afraid of something,” Yu Pan said. “They are both afraid.”

“Yu Pan-sama”, the rider yelled as she drew near, “you must come with me. Xieng Chi needs you, at once.”

“Continue the advance,” Yu Pan said to Yumiko. “Don’t let them regroup, but don’t get cut off either. I’ll rejoin you when I can.”

“You can’t go anywhere on that horse,” Yumiko said to the rider. “He’s about to collapse from the pain in that leg.”

Tears welled out of the rider’s eyes. “I will ride him until he collapses and then run myself. Xieng Chi needs her, now.”

Yumiko made a tsking sound and leaped off of her horse. “Our daimyo has need of your speed, old friend,” she said to him. The horse gave a small snort and took a sideways step towards the newcomers. The rider stifled a sob and swung down from her horse. “Thank you,” she said, and then she scrambled up onto Yumiko’s horse. “Thank you,” she said to Yumiko, and then nudged the horse into a run. Yu Pan followed.

They took a twisting path over the battlefield, avoiding contact with any Yobanjin. The towers of Shiro Utaku Shojo were just out of sight when they rounded a slight hill and arrived. Yu Pan swung down off of Dango, taking in the scene as she did. Battle had passed over herethe ground was strewn with corpsesand at the foot of the hill was a small knot of women bearing the mon of the Utaku daimyo’s personal guard. Yu Pan’s mouth went dry as she noted that they were standing around someone laying on the ground. She abandoned dignity and ran towards them. One of the guards noticed her and said her name, and the whole group moved back to let her pass.

The lower left of Xieng Chi’s breastplate was shattered and bloody, and there was blood soaking into the ground beneath her. Her face was chalky white, making the scar on her cheek stand out even more, and her eyes were closed. Kneeling down next to her Yu Pan’s first thought was that her daimyo was already dead, but then she noticed that Xieng Chi was gripping the hilt of her sheathed katana, holding the sword next to her.

“Xieng Chi-sama,” Yu Pan said. “I am here.”

Xieng Chi’s eyes fluttered open. “Yu Pan,” she said, her voice little more than a whisper. “I’d always wanted to die in the saddle. This is close enough, I suppose.”

“A shugenja,” Yu Pan said. “We’ll find you a healer, and”

“We still have shugenja in this clan?” Xieng Chi said. She shook her head slightly. “I’m old. Let the few we have left tend the young. I have nothing more to give to the Unicorn.”

“You have experience! The battles you’ve been in, all of your memories”

“I’ve spent the past five years trying to stuff those memories into your head. Weren’t you listening?”

Yu Pan blinked back tears as she recalled all of the talks they’d had. Lazy conversations about terrain as their horses placidly trotted through countryside, political speculations while drinking sake during the interminable winter courts, animated discussions about tactics and troop formations in the barracks over map-strewn tables. “I remember,” she said. “I remember it all. I’ll tell my children, my students, my sisters.”

Xieng Chi smiled. “I have no children. Many of my sisters are worthy to lead our family but none are more worthy than you.” She took a breath and lifted up her katana. Yu Pan swallowed her objections and placed her hand on the hilt next to Xieng Chi’s. “You are the Utaku daimyo now. Lead them off of this battlefield. Lead them into the future.” Her voice faded off in the last few words, and her hand slipped from the hilt.

“Xieng Chi!” Yu Pan almost grabbed at the hand, but the knowledge that her daimyo was gone stopped her. She bowed down for a moment, holding the katana tight, and then she stood up and slid it into her obi. Turning her back on Xieng Chi’s corpse she began to walk back to Dango.

“My lady?” one of the guards said. “What are your orders?”

“We are leaving this battlefield,” Yu Pan said. She mounted up and gazed dispassionately at her newly acquired personal guard. “After we have killed every Yobanjin on it.”

The Present

The battlefield had been cleared of corpses and a summer rain had washed the blood and ash away, but Yu Pan kept smelling faint traces of iron and smoke. She frowned at the notion; she was to meet her champion for the first time since becoming the Utaku daimyo and she didn’t need distractions like that. She nudged Dango into a gallop, letting the clean wind carry the unpleasant thought away.

“Yu Pan!” Moto Chen called as she rode up. He put out a hand and grasped her arm, smiling broadly. “Xieng Chi chose well in making you her heir. We will have the ceremony tonight.”

“Thank you, Chen-sama,” Yu Pan said. She paused as she noticed a small slender figure sitting on a horse just behind Chen’s. “My lord, is bringing your daughter here a good idea? There could still be stragglers about.”

“Her mother said almost the exact same thing,” Chen said, “in a completely different tone of voice.” He made a beckoning gesture and the little girl nudged her horse up alongside his. He smiled down at her and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Naleesh will be a samurai of the Unicorn. She needs to start learning the power and glory of warand its price. The lives of her people will depend on it.”

Naleesh shifted in her saddle, trying to sit taller. Yu Pan remembered the moment Xieng Chi had laid responsibility for the Utaku on her and considered the burden that the young girl was starting to feel. As she did Naleesh looked up at her, and the two shared a silent thought.

“It would be a great honor to serve with a warrior of such wisdom,” Yu Pan said. She offered her hand to Naleesh and the girl solemnly shook hands with her.

Chen smiled broadly. “Wise and clever,” he said. “She already has her ancestors memorized for ten generations back. Well, on my side. On Akasha’s sidethings get complicated.”

Having a mother who hatched out of an egg did create some awkwardness, Yu Pan thought. “Shall we proceed to the castle?” she asked, changing the subject.

Chen nodded. “How are your supplies?” he asked as the group started to move.

“Better than some, but not enough to please me. The fortress and its town are essentially undamaged, but many farms in the surrounding area were destroyed. Every field in the Army of Fire’s path was laid waste, and the attacks themselves disrupted planting all over. Our peasants are living in ruins or crude tents because they have no time to rebuild. They spend all the daylight hours planting, and when the moon allows it the nighttime hours as well. And even so, we will need a long, warm fall for them to have any harvest at all.”

“It is the same throughout most of our provinces,” Chen said. “This will be a hard year for us.”

Yu Pan studied him for a moment. “Excuse me if I sound impertinent, Chen-sama, but you don’t appear worried.”

“It is a terrible time, and the worst might not be over,” Chen said. “There will be great hunger, perhaps famine. We might even lose some horses. But consider this, Yu Panwhat did our ancestors face when they returned to Rokugan? Their language wasn’t understood by the rest of the Empire, every hand was turned against them, they had only the supplies they carried with them. And yet they didn’t falter. How can we fail with their example to guide us?”

“It is an honor to serve a Champion of such wisdom,” Yu Pan said. She had never seen this side of Chen before, had never dreamed it even existed.

Chen laughed. “Wisdom? I wouldn’t call it that. But as a young man I faced the Lords of Death. Later I was practically exiled from the clan for something I didn’t do. One gains perspective from such things.”

“I see,” Yu Pan said. As Shiro Utaku Shojo drew nearer she thought of the woman who had led her family then and what kinds of challenges she had dealt with. Perhaps her troubles now were greater, but then so were the resources available to her. She shifted in her saddle, trying to sit taller. Whatever the future brought, she would not falter.

* * * * *

The present, Shiro Mirumoto

Mirumoto Kei knelt in the center of dojo of the castle’s dojo. The wall she faced was bare save for a single line of calligraphy, written large enough so that it could be read clearly from anywhere in the room. She had spent uncounted hours in this room, practicing her forms, meditating on the words, until the two had become somehow inseparable. Now she simply sat before the wall, thinking.

When she finally arose she had the air of a woman who had made up her mind. Kei left the dojo and stepped out into the hallway beyond. “I have reconsidered my decision,” she announced.

Mirumoto Mareshi rose slowly to his feet, his unbandaged eye giving her a searching look. “And?” he asked.

“I have not changed it,” Kei said.

Mareshi nodded; he had not expected otherwise. “There will be objections.”

That had become something of a theme in her life, Kei thought. “From you? What does my most trusted advisor think?”

“No one ever understood Togashi’s purposes. Hitomi exiled Hoshi. When Hoshi allowed me to join the Dragon Clan, most of the Mirumoto were outraged. There are those who still wonder if Satsu did the right thing in combining the Three Orders. You are continuing the grand tradition of Dragon Champions issuing orders that confuse and upset large portions of the clan.”

Kei laughed. Mareshi had arrived a few days earlier with remains of his unit. One side of his face had been heavily burned but that had been the worst of his injuries, and he was healing well. She was glad. Their marriage was one of convenience, but she had grown comfortable with him. “I suppose it is now time for me to go be incomprehensible.”

Her vassals were waiting in one of the castle’s smaller court chambers: Tamori Shimura and Kitsuki Berii, the daimyo of their families, and Togashi Maya, leader of the Togashi order. Togashi Matsuo was there as well, watching the room with curious eyes. Kei had not sent for him, but she decided to overlook his presumption. It didn’t matter whether he heard this now or later.

“You have all shown great speed in getting here,” Kei said as she knelt down on the chamber’s dais. “Thank you.” Mareshi took his place behind and to her left. He rarely spoke at such meetings, but he was there to watch and listen for her.

“I hope we can show great speed in finishing this meeting,” Shimura said. “I have important work waiting for me.”

Kei kept her expression mild. “There are those who would think that there is nothing more important than attending to one’s lord.”

Shimura blanched slightly and bowed deeply. “Forgive me, Kei-sama. My phrasing was very poor. There is much rebuilding to be done at Shiro Tamori, and I feel& incomplete when I am not doing something to help.”

“Understandable,” Kei said. “But if we act without a guiding plan we risk leaving important things undone. And this is true not only of our clan, but of the Empire as a whole.”

“Acting without thought was never one of Iweko’s characteristics,” Berii said. “I have no doubt that the Empress and her Chosen are laying plans for the Empire’s rebuilding right now.”

“This is true,” Kei said. “However, a good vassal does not hesitate when they see a way to serve their lord. And since the Divine One was once a member of our clan, we will never be anything other than good vassals to her.”

“You are thinking of something in particular,” Berii said.

“I am,” Kei said. “After the great battle where the Army of Fire was broken there was a time when the soldiers of all the clans there were mixed together. In that time I and my advisors noticed something unsettling. There are many samurai who are confused by the Army’s attack. If Iweko truly rules with the blessing of the Celestial Heavens, how is all this devastation possible?”

“That shows an incorrect understanding of the Heavens,” Maya said. “It is not concerned with the state of the Empire, only that the Empire has the correct relationship with it. It is also a sign of poor understanding of the Tao, as suffering and death are merely facets of existence.”

“It is irrelevant, as well,” Shimura said. “So long as they obey, what does it matter what they think?”

“My arm always obeys my will,” Mareshi said quietly. “Gangrene is deadly nevertheless.”

Kei let the silence Mareshi created ring for a moment before speaking. “Our clan is untroubled by such thoughts; we are brought up to apply the Tao to all things. The rest of the Empire, however, is vulnerable. I am not willing to see that vulnerability become a threat.”

“What is your plan?” Berii said. From the look on his face, Kei suspected he had guessed at least part of it.

“There is a limit to how much help we can send to the Empire as a whole; we cannot ignore our obligation to rebuild as quickly as possible.” Kei paused. “Therefore, I will send the Order of the Togashi out into the Empire, to teach.”

“What?” Maya said.

“No one is more familiar with the Tao than you and your brothers,” Kei said. “Monks can go where they will, and speak to both peasant and daimyo. The Order is perfectly suited for the task.”

“That is not our purpose. We became monks to study the essence of reality. The business of teaching will interfere with our study, distract from our true focus.”

Matsuo spoke before Kei could. “Interference and distraction are merely facets of existence.” Maya swung around to stare at him, and he gave her a sunny smile.

“I place no restrictions on how the members of the Order go about teaching,” Kei said. “I am simply ordering them to go out into the Empire, and deal with the ignorance they find in the way that seems best to them.”

Maya looked back to Kei, her expression guarded and closed. “For you to even issue the order is unprecedented.”

“That is reasonable,” Kei said, “as the situation has no precedent.”

Maya was silent for a moment more. “Your will, my champion,” she said. “But I really cannot imagine what the outcome of this will be.”

“I’m sure it will be amazing,” Matsuo said.

“Of that,” Maya said, “I have no doubt.”

Discuss the events of this story in our Story Forum!

http://www.alderac.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=63&t=77376

Archived in Samurai Edition and related keyword(s) , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Comments are closed.